Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Great Void between Beautiful and Ugly

LOOKS DEPARTMENT

1. When BEAUTIFUL speaks, she is bold. When UGLY speaks, nobody listens.

2. When BEAUTIFUL gets invited to a function, she gets PAID for her time. When UGLY goes to function, she has to pay for her seat.

3. It is okay for a BEAUTIFUL to be sexy and shows cleavages in functions and churches. An UGLY who does the same is a harlot.

4. A BEAUTIFUL gets gifts - branded items by her boyfriends. An UGLY needs to buy gifts for her BF.

5. A BEAUTIFUL is surely on the worship team even when she can't crack a note. An ugly needs to be a soprano to qualify for the same opportunity.

6. A BEAUTIFUL is adored by both handsome and ugly men. An UGLY is bullied and insulted by ugly men.

7. A BEAUTIFUL is allowed to be bad. An ugly who is bad can go to hell.

8. Those who flash boobs to get favors and promotions are considered BEAUTIFUL. Those who don't are deemed as UGLY and will be demoted.

9. A BEAUTIFUL gets PAID to appear in charity functions while already paid as wannabe models, air-hostesses and beauty pageant losers/girls. An UGLY who sincerely helps people is only a social worker.

10.A BEAUTIFUL has enough brains and wiles to seduce men while UGLY is stupid coz she doesn't know how to make herself BEAUTIFUL and drop her clothes.

Original publication@Adrienne. Not to be duplicated without prior written consent.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Great Disparity between Male and Female: Looks Department

LOOKS DEPARTMENT

1. When he ages, he matures and looks prosperous - an enlightened person. When she ages, she is not worth a cent, in character, looks and mind.

2. Not having branded attire means he is being spiritual, prudent and unfazed by the commercial peer pressure. However, in her case, she is unattractive and not attentive. Hence, not worth a second look and consideration.

3. When he is neat and tidy, that is more than sufficient for looking after his appearance. When she does the same, she still lacks manicure, pedicure, hair care, facial care, spa care and etc.

4. Even though he is ugly, he is homely looking and still has something to offer - surely one can't judge a book by its cover. An ugly woman will never get a second, third or...a trillionth look. But fear not, God looks after Leah.

5. When he eats well, he needs it for energy and health. When she eats well, she better watch out for her diet.

6. When he does not exercise, he is simply too busy to have the time to do so. When she does exercise, she is gonna be flabby and ugly soon.

7. When he gives an opinion about her looks, he is being insightful, considerate and constructive. When she comments about his looks, she is shallow and superficial.

8. When he can't accept her comments about his looks, he either couldn't care less or finds her repulsive. When she can't accept his judgement on her looks, she is not receptive, graceful and willing to change.

9. When he refuses to change his wardrobe, he is a good man. When she refuses to upgrade her wardrobe, its time to find a new girlfriend.

10. When he does not want to go on a diet, why should he? He is a not fat, just stout-looking. When she refuses diet, she is ugly, ugly, ugly.

11. When he does not go for manicure or pedicure, he is not a sissy. When she does not do the same, she should be buried alive coz she is ugly.

12. When he gets pimples, acne and boils, he is having stress. When she gets a breakout, if she's lucky, she just need to stay indoors. Alternatively, he finds a new and beautiful girlfriend.